First, let me tell you a story. It happened in the summer at a country house. An elderly couple had a small plot with a house where they spent their summers. Occasionally, their student daughter and high school grandson would visit them. The father of the grandson, the son of the elderly couple, was a successful businessman who rarely visited, but his visits were always eagerly anticipated. Everything was fine until new neighbors appeared. When the elderly couple arrived at their country house in the spring, they discovered that the new neighbors had put up a fence, encroaching on their territory. Moreover, the neighbors often held noisy gatherings and played loud music.
The wife was the first to go meet the neighbors and resolve the issue. After the conversations, she ended up bedridden, upset, and in tears. Then the husband went to sort things out. He took a long time to return, but when he did, he was in high spirits and very satisfied, claiming that his wife had exaggerated and that the neighbors were great. When the daughter arrived, she, upon hearing about the neighbors, declared that she had acne and refused to leave the house. The grandson, who arrived the next day, said that the neighbors were lame because they didn’t understand new software, and he too stayed inside, glued to his computer.
As a result, the businessman’s son was urgently summoned. He first listened to his parents, then went to talk to his sister. After half an hour, they agreed that sister would work in the garden for three hours a day, choosing the hours most beneficial for her skin, as ultraviolet light disinfects and treats acne. Additionally, the brother would provide a small allowance on top of her scholarship, which he had already intended to do but had forgotten to mention.
Then the homeowner’s son called a meeting with the male members of the family: his father and his high school son. After brief negotiations, it was decided that the grandson would be responsible for searching the internet for necessary tools, new products, better prices, and convenient delivery options. The grandfather, on the other hand, would provide expert evaluation, testing, and use of the tools, although the grandson volunteered to help his grandfather from time to time.
Next, the businessman went to meet the neighbors. As a result of this meeting, the neighbors offered the elderly couple some paid help with the hardest work on their plot: digging, carrying water, making garden beds, and harvesting. It turned out that the hostess, the businessman’s mother, had been looking for helpers for a long time because she had back pain, and the neighbors were looking for a way to earn some extra money. Moreover, the neighbors agreed to notify the elderly couple about noisy gatherings in advance so that they could go to the city for a couple of days, take a break from country life, collect their pensions, and do some shopping. There was also an alternative: to join the gatherings themselves, which they did a couple of times over the summer.
The main issue of the incorrectly placed fence was resolved in a joint meeting of both plots. There were many suggestions, such as tearing down the wall or moving it, but the winning proposal was to plant a berry bush along the border. Once it grew, they would remove the problematic fence.
This strategy of resolving issues is called WIN-WIN. It is not a compromise; it is the search for mutual benefit.